Author: whenireturn

When I return to Palestine, I will insha’Allah have my wife and children with me and pray a thankfulness prayer upon entering Palestine then go straight to Gaza and unite with my mom and relatives and take them all to Masjid el Aqsa. We will all wear modest Palestinian clothing and have Palestinian flags on our caravan cars.

We will make wodou’ (ablution) in the crispy, cold water within the precincts of Al-Aqsa, then pray and pray and pray. I will read surat al-Isra’ (surat 18), which Allah blessed me into memorizing by heart, in masjid al-aqsa. I will keep praying until I finish all the qur’an I have dedicated to memory, repeating prayer inside the mosque, in the open air under the olive trees, and in the Dome of the Rock Mosque-especially under the rock.

I will take pictures by the mosque, the solar clock between the mosque and the Dome of the Rock. I will pray under the rock and thank Allah the almighty. I will touch the hair of the prophet in the Dome of the Rock, I will walk barefoot in hopes that my feet will touch sand that prophets have stepped on.

I will take my children to every spot in Al-Aqsa and especially the sites where prophets have prayed, Boraq was tied, and Prophet Mohammed ascended to heaven.

I will take my children to the sites that Jesus (peace be upon him) was born, and where he and Mary lived, and where he and Yahya and Zakaraya lived and preached.

I will visit my birthplace in Rafah, my mom’s birthplace in Jaffa and visit Majid Hassan Bek. I will visit Aqer and Salfit where my father’s family came from.

I will float on the Dead Sea and take a glass-bottom boat in the Red Sea. I will visit hot springs and mountains and all the parts of Palestine that I grew up in from Gaza to Birzeit to Abu Dis to Jenin to Golan hights to Natanya to Aqaba.

I will laugh at every crossing where check points used to be and curse all those who manned them, supported them or financed them!

I will pray at the graves of prophets and relatives and martyrs. I will eat Palestine oranges, almonds, figs, grapes, pears, apricots, jommaiz, kharrou, khobbaizeh,and on and on.

I will secure my Mon’s home in Yaffa for us to live and buy or build a flat in Al-Quds and live in it for the rest of my life.

When Palestine is liberated, I will go to the old city in Jerusalem and find a café, and spend the day drinking the most wonderful sage tea.

When I return to Palestine I will realize that we are all lost and wandering – out of Africa, out of Egypt, out of the Promised Land. When I return ‘there’ – wherever that is, it will be not until everyone else has returned because I am least deserving.

My family left to live instead of stay to die. We were a clan of cowards lost in the desert. So when I return I will be the last of my family to shamefully step foot back into our house.

If I return it will only be by God’s good grace that I could step foot into Nablus after denouncing the Israeli, Jordanian and American governments.

If I ever return home it will be because heaven smiled on the love that I once knew in home baked za’taar, sugar-filled chai and summer-night salaam kisses on the cheek.

If I ever return to my home it will be into my lover’s ever-forgiving embrace.

When I return I will plant a tree in a soul and inspire the soil with a verse. Because when I return home I will finally be able to write and speak Arabic poetry fluently.

When I return home all the wrongs I’ve committed against mama and baba will be forgiven.

If there was ever a home in the first place, Islam would not mean anything because it wouldn’t have to – I can be Christian, Hindu, or Jewish and God will still listen to my prayer.

When I return home my heart will be at peace. When I return home I will be buried in the land.

When I return, I’d first go to Al Aqsa Mosque to pray, then to my village to see my grand grandfather’s home, and then to the highest mountain to see Palestine from all sides. I believe that if I were there from birth, my life would be totally different but Israel not only took our land, they took our dreams, identity, future, and our lives. I hope to see Palestine free, if I will not, at least let our children see it.

When Palestine is liberated, I will first go to the Al-Quds and pray for gratitudes. Then I’ll go meet all Palestinians to congratulate them and befriend with them all. I want to see all the children who have been in such pain of losing homes and love ones grow up while breathing the air of triumph after all these fights they fought.

When I return, I pray that Allah almighty will make me live until I pray in Al-Aqsa liberated from occupation.